


pride comes (before a fall)

by mutemelody



Series: A Cautionary Tale [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Even if Janus would never say it, Friendship, Gen, Insecure Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, POV Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 13:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutemelody/pseuds/mutemelody
Summary: “You called?” He asks, adding an air of exasperation in his voice as he pops in next to the anxious side.“It’s Patton,” Virgil says, not bothering with pleasantries. His eyes are open wide with fear and he looks very much like the manifestation of anxiety that he is in that moment. “He’s sick. Or...unstable. I-I can’t tell.”“I totally know why I should care.”“Virgil is attempting to ask for your assistance,” A voice cuts in and he turns to look at Logan who has exited the kitchen.[Or, something's wrong with Patton and the only one that knows enough to help is Deceit. However, there's more to the deceptive Side than meets the eye.]





	pride comes (before a fall)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm literally on vacation with my family right now. I'm sitting writing this on my dad's laptop in a place with bad service because ideas for this AU started popping into my head during the long car ride here and I couldn't contain myself. This part was only meant to be a short introduction to another work in this series and...well...
> 
> Additional Warnings:  
> -Implied/Referenced Minor Character Death [Both Caution and another Side. Not a core, canon Side though]  
> -Mentions of Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders [I don't know if this is necessary, but thought it would better to be safe than sorry. Although just know that he does not appear in this fic himself, as this takes place before DWIT, and no tendencies, behaviors, or anything else about him is referenced specifically]  
> -Ambiguous/Open Ending [This ends in a manner less concrete due to the fact that there are other works in this series. Just mentioning it because I know some people like to be aware of this]
> 
> If you ever need something to be tagged/warned do not hesitate to talk to me about it
> 
> [Title is from a frequently misquoted line that is actually “pride goeth before destruction”.]
> 
>   
> [Note: If you see this work on any app or website outside of AO3 or any of the accounts listed in my profile, then it is being used without my consent and I heavily implore you to not support that app or website. Thank you.]

It’s a seemingly insignificant day when Deceit feels the tug of another Side requesting his presence.

Another Side asking for him is rather remarkable in itself. He’s rarely called upon, and when it is it’s certainly not when Thomas is doing absolutely nothing. He knows for a fact that currently the Manifestor is just lazing on the couch after dinner, rewatching an episode of some show for the umpteenth time. He’s Thomas’ self-preservation, after all. He is always aware of what the man is up to.

Typically, he would take his time before answering such a call. Spend a little extra time adjusting his gloves or making sure his hat is on perfectly. He can’t let them think he’s at their beck and call. He has appearances to keep up. Besides, it’s highly amusing to see them jump at his sudden appearance or their annoyance at his delay.

However, he knows this call is different. It’s desperate and rushed and it’s…

It’s Virgil.

He absolutely does  _ not  _ have a soft spot for Anxiety. They’re just coworkers, both functions designed to protect Thomas. Fight or flight and self-preservation naturally work hand in hand. That’s  _ it. _

Maybe he cuts his usual delay short. Maybe he rushes a bit to answer the call, pausing only enough to gather himself into an air of calm cocky confidence.

_ Maybe. _

“You called?” He asks, adding an air of exasperation in his voice as he pops in next to the anxious side. Maybe he forgoes any dramatic entrance in the center of the room to appear a bit in front and to the left, but that’s  _ totally not _ because he knows that that is the location that his appearance will startle Virgil the least.

They’re not in the physical world, but rather still in Thomas’ mind. The area around them currently reflects the living room of the Manifestor, and he can sense it’s due to this area being Thomas’ current location rather than one of the Sides making it out of Imagination. They’re in the common area then, away from the influence of any specific Side. Neutral territory.

Virgil is sitting on the couch, a hand up near his mouth as he bites his nails. He can faintly hear movement in the kitchen and raises his head slightly to see Logan working on something, a rushed air to him that the logical Side typically lacks.

“It’s Patton,” Virgil says, not bothering with pleasantries and moving his hands from his mouth to tug as his sleeves while he talks. His eyes are open wide with fear and he looks very much like the manifestation of anxiety that he is in that moment. “He’s sick. Or...unstable. I-I can’t tell.”

Ah, that would explain it. It makes sense that Virgil is so stressed about the possibility of Morality being unstable - even without the whole mess that is Caution and Anxiety, Virgil seems rather fond of Patton.

Still, that does not really say why Virgil called  _ him.  _ While he would like to know if Morality is about to change or is incapacited in some manner, Virgil informing him like this is...confusing. Anxiety looks too fragile, too wound up. Why would he be the one to tell him the news? They had grown close for a while, but they’re not exactly friends. It’s more like...a mutual understanding on a level that the others couldn’t truly comprehend.

“Okay,” He says slowly, wanting more information and testing to see if Virgil can take a bit of questioning. “I totally know why I should care.”

Virgil just rubs his face anxiously, not really reacting to his words. Too wound up for their usual banter, then. So why call him? Wouldn’t he prefer to isolate himself, or at least stick by Patton’s bedside like glue? 

(He can recall one time after Anxiety was reformed from Caution’s fragments that Deceit had come down with a slight fatigue. It had been nothing serious at all - Thomas was going through college and had been putting himself out there more for his friends. Nothing ridiculous, but it had been over a rather lengthy stretch of time. The honest and sacrificing had worn on Deceit, and Virgil had  _ panicked.  _ So worked up in his own social anxieties, Virgil had practically smothered him in blankets and watched over him like a hawk.)

(Even  _ Remus  _ had stepped back slightly at the intensity of the fight or flight instinct, not that the creative Side would ever admit it.)

So...Deceit is  _ not _ lost right now.

“Virgil is attempting to ask for your assistance,” A voice cuts in and he turns to look at Logan who has exited the kitchen. There’s a tray in his hands, a cup and a plate with plain toast resting on it. He looks rather worn down himself, his usual immaculate appearance slightly disheveled. His tie is loose and a bit askew. His clothes are wrinkled. There are bags under his eyes.

He smirks to himself internally. Logic would be reluctant to admit that he cares about Morality, but it’s rather clear that the fatherlike Side’s condition is weighing on him.

“While I am  _ clearly  _ the Side with the highest amount of medical knowledge,” Deceit says, every syllable soaked with sarcasm, “I don’t see why I should be bothered to assist.”

Which is a lie of omission. He knows all the reasons why he should assist, why it's pertinent to him that Thomas’ Morality remains stable and functional and healthy. He’s testing the waters, though - testing  _ them.  _ Just because he knows all the reasons doesn’t mean they’re all relevant, and it certainly doesn’t mean that they are what the other Sides have in mind. He needs to hear their motivations before he reveals anything.

“Apologies, I believe we have been unspecific.” Logan says, moving closer a few steps. “Due to the...nature of Virgil’s past reformation, we are unaware of the symptoms of a Side changing in such a manner. This has led to us being unable to distinguish between instability and illness accurately. The only information we have is what Virgil remembers and data drawn from a time in the past when we believed Roman was unstable, and that is obviously not adequate.”

“And what makes you believe  _ I _ know the difference adequately?” Deceit asks, meeting Logan’s gaze with a slight challenge in his own. He does know. He knows very,  _ very  _ well. Better than he ever will admit. 

(While he never desires ignorance - it goes against his nature, his very  _ existence _ \- this is the one thing he wishes he knew less of.)

“You were the one that was there for Caution.” Logan says simply, his tone remarkable steady in comparison to what it typically is when he mentions the old Side. It seems he was correct in his belief that knowing the truth would help them move on. Not that he’d ever admit that that was his motivation.

Again, he has a reputation.

He matches Logan’s unwavering gaze for a few moments before turning to look at Virgil once more. His hands are still fidgeting with the sleeves, but he’s looking at Deceit with large, hopeful eyes. 

He highly doubts Patton is actually unstable. The moral Side is most likely just sorting through his own issues, which run deep enough that they could appear in his physical form. At their core, they’re just manifestations, and their appearances are far more fluid than anything in the physical world. 

With the whole situation of the callback vs. the wedding (which Deceit is  _ still  _ peeved about, but it’s fine, he has backup plans) as well as the discovery that Virgil was Caution before Anxiety, he can see that weighing on the already emotional Side. He’s also been sensing Remus getting restless in the way that only happens when both Patton and Virgil are spiraling in their own ways. Besides, all of that is not factoring in whatever pre-existing problems Morality might have already had.

And while all of that stress and uncertainty may have pushed another Side enough to instability, Patton is not just any other side. He’s  _ Morality,  _ the core of Thomas’ emotions, decisions,  _ personality.  _ None of them have ever said it out loud, but Patton is the Side that Thomas derives the most of himself from. For Morality to become unstable in a way akin to Caution…akin to-

Deceit does not want to think about what Thomas would have to go through for that to happen.

Of course, he could merely offer these thoughts and then leave. Offer reassurance but not assistance. It’s not that they really need it - they’d realize that Patton’s still stable soon enough. It would be fine and perfectly in character for a snake such as himself. 

It’s definitely what he would have done before he was Deceit.

But...that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? He  _ is  _ Deceit now. He’s not…who he used to be. He’s a protector now. Admittedly a selfish one with questionable morality, but a protector nonetheless. And what are morals but society’s labels of rights and wrongs? Sure, there are personal beliefs and morals, but those are just reflections of a systematic-

Off-topic. He’s a protector now, and even if he is against Morality all the way down to their fundamental principles, Morality is a part of Thomas’ self and Deceit is Thomas’ self-preservation.

So he lets out an exasperated sigh, adjusts the hat on his head, and says, “Lead the way.”

Virgil’s body loses some of its tension and he even sees a hint of relief in Logan’s typically emotionless eyes. The latter Side nods once and moves out of the room without fanfare, leading him upstairs while Virgil takes up the rear.

“He’s in his room,” Logan tells Deceit as they climb the stairs. “Ideally we’d move him to a more neutral ground, but if he is unstable then I suspected that would be unwise.”

Deceit nods. It’s true if a Side is unstable, staying in their room would be the best for them. Otherwise the reformation could be much more painful. Also it’s a more private matter, and to have it in a common area where anyone could watch...the thought of it leaves a bad taste in Deceit’s mouth.

The makeup of their part of the Mindscape is not dissimilar to his; in both areas, the door that would typically lead to Thomas’ bedroom leads to a hallway. There are doors in the hallway, each one leading to the room of a Side. They could pop in - or rise up, in their case - to any of these areas, of course, but Deceit suspects that Logan does not want to startle or wake Patton if he’s resting. 

He’s seen Patton’s door a few times, but all of them were when Thomas was younger and the lines were more blurred. There are more stickers on it now, along with artwork of varying skill levels. He recognizes Virgil’s hand in the small pumpkin stickers decorating around a sign that announces ‘pop star’ in purple capitals.

Logan knocks gently and Deceit hears a “Come in,” in a tone so soft and reserved that it takes him a moment to realize that it’s Roman speaking. Logan opens the door quietly and they enter.

Deceit’s been in Patton’s room before. The room’s effects had unnerved Deceit to a degree, making him remember things he didn’t want to. He mentally braces himself against the memories as he crosses the threshold, and is glad he did as he feels certain ones rising in the depths of his mind. 

He pushes them away to focus on the figure on the couch. Patton appears flushed, looking at them with half-lidded eyes. There’s a wet towel draped over his forehead.

Roman’s standing next to him, looking slightly more at ease when he sees Deceit. It’s an expression that he’s not used to and makes strange emotions rise in him. He pushes them back down with the memories. He knows repression isn’t good, but that’s long-term. He’ll sort through everything when he’s in his own room,  _ alone.  _

Deceit’s eyes trail over Patton’s body. In reality, observing his symptoms are futile. They can change based on whatever the Side is changing into. In Virgil’s case, that had been violent writhing and lack of lucidity. It had been paranoid mutterings and sweating and  _ fear. _

_ Still better than mine.  _ He thinks, and then mentally takes that thought and forces it as far as possible. No, he’s  _ not  _ thinking about that now. No way. Not doing that.  _ No.  _

And either way, comparing suffering is in bad taste. It’s toxic and negative and…

“How are you feeling?” He asks, keeping his voice calm and collected as he forces his mind to focus on something else and not unwanted memories. 

“Achy,” Patton says, his voice dripping with exhaustion. “My head-”

“Not physically.” He interrupts, his voice firm but quiet. “How are you  _ feeling,  _ Patton?”

Patton bites his lip, eyes flickering at the Sides behind him. Ah. He sees the problem.

He turns and looks at the others, “Out,” He demands, and when he sees Logan open his mouth to argue, he continues, “You asked for my help. I’m giving it. But I can’t do it unless you leave. Now go.”

“I do not-” Logan starts again, but Roman grabs his arm and whispers something into his ear, and understanding flickers over his face. “Ah. I see.”

They leave. Virgil lingers a bit in the doorway, biting his lip as they look at them.

“I’ll be fine, kiddo.” Patton says, giving him a weak smile.

Deceit, on the other hand, gives him eyeroll. “Shoo.” He says, waving a hand dismissively. “I need you out to proceed with my malevolent plans.”

Virgil just gives him an eyeroll and a look that clearly conveys that he would flip him off if Patton was not present. He replies with a sickly sweet smile and an overly innocent wave. Virgil shoots him a final glare as he leaves.

“So, Patton,” He drawls, sitting on the table next to the couch and moving the tray closer to Patton under the guise of giving himself space. So what if it’s now positioned so that he can reach the water easier? That’s just an unintentional outcome. “How are you feeling? And please, don’t lie. We both know that won’t fool me.”

Patton shifts slightly, moving to a more sitting position. He watches the Side do it carefully, absolutely not poised to help if he starts to fall. He makes it, though, and drops the towel that was resting on his forehead onto the floor carelessly. “Bad.” He says softly.

“ _ So _ specific.” 

Patton shoots him a frustrated look, before it softens and he looks away.

“I can’t stop thinking about if Thomas is a bad person.” He murmurs, not looking at Deceit. “And if he is, what does that make me? I always wanted to make him a good person, but what if I…” He trails off. “What if I did the opposite?”

Deceit sighs. This is not a conversation for right now. At least, not with him. But it’s clear that Patton needs to have this talk with  _ someone,  _ and is largely unwilling to turn to one of the other core sides, so he’s going to have to give him  _ something. _

Ugh. He hopes the core Sides appreciate this. He did not sign up to be their therapist.

“You know where I stand on this matter,” No they don’t. Not really. They think they do, but they still don’t  _ understand.  _ But, again, that’s a conversation for another time. “But, to change the focus of the conversation, let’s try something new.” He adjusts his position slightly, plastering a thoughtful look on his face as he rests his chin on his intertwined gloved hands “Virgil.” He announces after he’s settled.

“Virgil?” Patton repeats, confused.

“We could do someone else if you’d like, but he’s the easiest example.” He tells him matter-of-factly. Just enough to keep him off-balance. He can’t let the Side gain enough traction in the discussion. “So, in Virgil’s case, he used to be the villain, correct?”

“No!” Patton argues immediately, “That’s not true! He just tries to protect Thomas.”

“But he’s hurt Thomas before, hasn’t he?” He presses, “He’s caused breakdowns, leading to lost opportunities. He’s made Thomas skip out on his friends several times. You’re calling him a hero for doing these things?”

“He only means to protect Thomas.” Patton reiterates, standing his ground. “He worries so much. He does what he thinks is right. And things are better now! He’s working with Thomas. He knows that he doesn’t need to be scary to be heard.”

“But he’s still scary, isn’t he?” Deceit pushes, “You recall the events of a certain Christmas Eve, do you not?”

“But it’s just...it’s who he  _ is.  _ It’s not…” Patton struggles for a moment, and Deceit can tell that his condition is hindering his ability to argue effectively. Good. He wouldn’t want this to drag out. That would just be inconvenient and emotionally messy for everyone.. “He’s not a bad Side. He tries to help. It’s just sometimes-”

“Sometimes it’s not always what you think is right.” He finishes smoothly. “Sometimes it’s something you don’t agree with. But that would make him bad, right, since you  _ are  _ Morality, right?”

“I-I don’t-” Patton cuts himself off, clearly frustrated with his inability to articulate his point. “It’s not that simple.” He settles on, clearly very tired. He’ll have to wrap this up quickly.

“It rarely is. Sides can be more complex than one might realize.” He says, leaning back, dropping his hands to end the act. “People can be more complicated.”

Patton’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Wait, did you just-”

“I’m not conceding any of my previous points from the trial.” Deceit says, standing and brushing invisible specks off of his outfit to add to his air of carelessness. “Just merely throwing out the suggestion that perhaps things are not black and white. Lots of things come in spectrums.” He pauses when he gets to the door, but does not look back. “You’re not unstable. Just...distressed. Rest would do you some good. It would not be beneficial for Thomas if his most core Side was unwell.”

He then opens the door, ready to leave without another word. However, Patton stops him when he calls out. “Deceit!”

He halts and turns in the threshold, cocking an eyebrow questioningly. He notices that Patton looks slightly less flushed and there’s a bit more strength clear in the gesture when he gives Deceit a small wave. “Thank you.” The moral Side says gratefully.

Deceit lets out a small scoff, rolls his eyes at the sincere gesture, and absolutely does not feel warmer at the expression of gratitude. He leaves without a reply, but something tells him Morality understands anyways.

He walks down the hallway, ignoring the other doors. Ignoring the restlessness under his skin and the weakness he feels in his own form. He had spent far too long in the room. Too many unbidden memories and emotions were fighting their way to the surface.

“He’s stable,” He says as he walks down the stairs, the other core Sides present there. “And he’ll recover. He’s merely...worn.”

He’s greeted with strong looks of relief. Virgil goes so relaxed he practically melts into the couch. Roman stands up in excitement, his eyes glittering and a beaming smile on his face. Even Logan displays his reassurance physically, although more minute. It’s in the loss of tension in his shoulders, the way his hand moves up to smooth out his hair and the other to adjust his tie.

He departs soon after, brushing off their thanks and emotions as he sinks out.

When he pops in, he’s in his own room. He can hear yelling in the distance, from somewhere in the other Sides’ Mindscape, but it’s familiar and easily ignored as he collapses onto his bed. He lies there for a moment, mentally reeling as he lets lost memories and ignored emotions out full force.

After some time - moments, minutes, or hours? He doesn’t know - he leans over the side and pulls out a box hidden underneath the bed with shaky hands. He fumbles with the lock for a moment before managing to open it.

He pulls out a single hand-held mirror, the handle and frame made of a faded gold. The mirror itself is cracked, the cracks in the glass weaving a web that makes up his shattered reflection.

There’s words on it, engraved around the frame. Two words, one that is his name and the other the title of a Side that is long lost. He focuses on the second one now, the one that does not pertain to him now. The one that is not associated with Deceit.

He brushes his thumb over the letters. Over his old title. Over the only relic he has of before he was Deceit.

_ Pride,  _ the letters spell out. 

_ Pride comes before a fall,  _ the expression goes. Or rather, the frequent mistaken version of the original quote. 

_ “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” _

Well, in his case Pride was the one who way destroyed, and  _ this  _ spirit - be it haughty or selfish or immoral - is the only thing left after the fall. 

In his case, Pride was the one who fell and Deceit was the one who stood back up.

For better or for worse?

Well, that’s still up in the air.

**Author's Note:**

> Platonic Anxceit is wonderful.
> 
> If Janus and Patton’s discussion was not clear enough: Janus was hinting that maybe Patton has made mistakes along the road, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s bad or a mistake himself. Good people can make mistakes. It’s just never expressly articulated because, well, Janus does not typically operate like that. He used Virgil as an example because he knows the most about Virgil and also his example is the clearest. 
> 
> Also I know there’s not a lot of Roman in this one but don’t worry - I wanted to shift the focus away from the whole Virgil-Roman dynamic a bit to explore this AU with other characters. There’s a very Roman-centric story in my plans. I don’t know if it’ll be next or something more concerning Janus or something new entirely.


End file.
